PJ Vescovi

These last few months with my 3 year old have been amazing. Not only is her little personality coming out, but now she can  carry  an actual conversation beyond pointing at something and calling it out by name (regardless of how awkward it might have been).

Along with these new found conversational skills, she has learned that asking for things versus just taking them, drastically improves her chances of getting what she wants. So she is learning to ask politely and accept the answer…even if the answer is no.

But she’s not the only one learning. I am learning so much about fatherhood, and more importantly, the heart of a father. I’ve discovered that when my daughter asks for something politely, not only am I fully engaged to her question, but I find myself looking for a reason to say YES! There’s something about the combination of the words “daddy” and “please” from a little girl that renders most dads pretty useless.

Naturally, my interactions with my kids are teaching me so much about my interactions with God. We’ve heard all the verses, “You have not because you ask not,” or “ask and you shall receive,” but what I never realized  until now, is how much God desires  to say “yes” and is looking for a reason to!

As He hung on the cross, Jesus yearned for His Fathers presence and cried “Abba, why have you forsaken me?” For a moment, Jesus felt the pain of refusal from His Father.

God said “no” to His son Jesus, for the opportunity to say “yes” to you!

In describing his Father to his disciples, Jesus stated that God was a “Good Father” and that he knew “how” to give good gifts to his children. Notice he didn’t say that He knows “to” give good gifts, but “how”. The “how” is what makes him good.

Sometimes my daughter wants ice cream for dinner, and even though I think  it’s an amazing idea, it’s just not a healthy habit for her. So I respond by giving her a condition or a responsibility, something like,  “If you eat all your dinner, you can have some ice cream.” Obeying the small condition, gives me all the reason I need to grant her request, even if it’s not when she wanted it.

And even if I have to say” no”, it’s always with her best interests at heart. Sometimes her requests are dangerous or inappropriate,  and my “no” protects her from harm. I’ve come to learn that a “no” from God is not rejection, but protection. And if he’s saying “no” today, it’s because there is something better down the road that he wants to say “yes” to.

 Many times we ask God for things that we just aren’t ready for. 

So in his love, he responds by giving us something we didn’t ask for –  a responsibility or condition, to prepare us for what we want. I remember asking God for a wife and a family for years. Looking back, I can see my waiting season as a crucial part of my development, so that I was prepared and mature enough to steward such amazing blessings.

 The truth is, God isn’t just a good father, He’s the best of fathers. 

He will never enable his kids, even it means withholding the very things He desperately wants to give them.Sometimes my daughter refuses to meet the conditions we give. She won’t eat her dinner, or put her toys away, or she’ll drag her feet in complying with our requests. It’s frustrating, because although I really want to give her what she asked for, her bad behavior can’t be reinforced with reward.In the same way, if we don’t meet God’s conditions or prepare the way he wants, He cannot say yes – even though he really wants to, because He’s a good dad.

Many people have challenges in associating the term “good” with “father.” Their painful experiences with earthly fathers makes it difficult for them to ask anything of God who calls himself “Father.” There hasn’t been good examples in their life for them to gleam from. But God is so gracious and kind, and the process of learning to trust His heart towards you is one that is extremely freeing.

We all have areas we are praying and seeking God about. If you’re like me, you have some big prayers you’re putting before Him. I know from experience that when prayers and dreams remain unanswered or unfulfilled, it can lead to frustration and heartache. But I wonder,  have you given God reason to be frustrated with you? Are you giving Him everything He is asking for?

I think many times we misinterpret the details of our circumstances, because we don’t understand God’s ways. When we fail to embrace the challenges, difficulties or responsibilities uniquely assigned to us, we sabotage the very process designed to answer our prayer.

Perhaps it’s not God holding out on you, but your behavior or perspective is staying his hand.Personally, I have some dreams with conditions that I’ve failed to meet, but I know my Father’s heart for me, and I’m getting it done. Take some time today alone with God today and ask Him, He wants you to succeed!

God is looking, in fact hoping, for a reason to say “Yes,” to you.  So why don’t you give Him a few!

Be Blessed,

PJ