PJ Vescovi

Happy New Year! I love the new year,  and the sense of hope and opportunity that comes with it. As the year turns over, I hear many talk of a “blank slate” or a fresh start to close a chapter, chase dreams or begin again!

While I’ve shared these same sentiments year after year, I’ve learned that if plans aren’t made and issues aren’t addressed, that same shining hope can soon become another year of disappointment.

I don’t know about you, but I want to achieve my potential in 2018 and walk freely into  new doors. And while it is also true that the future holds bright potential, it is also true that if you are carrying too much old baggage you might miss out.

So as we move into a 2018 full of promise and potential, here are five things that I’m personally throwing away.  I encourage you to do as well!

1. A Victim Mentality.

This one may hurt a bit. A victim mentality persuades us to believe that we are at a disadvantage in life, because of what has or hasn’t happened to us.  It views challenges and failures as barriers rather than opportunities and magnifies the pain of the moment rather than the promise of the future.

The lie of victim-hood robs us of mobilizing our strengths and blinds us to new opportunities. One of the dangers of a victim mentality is that is gives us permission to blame people and circumstances for our failures, rather than taking the empowering steps towards personal responsibility.

Michael Jordan, in reflecting on the great success he achieved in basketball and life said  –“I never failed, I either won or I learned.” What a perspective!

Throw it away. You are not a victim and you are not at a disadvantage. You are not defined by what happened to you, but you will be defined by how you respond. One of my favorite proverbs say “A good man falls seven times, but seven times gets up again.” What defines him is not the falling, but the getting back up!  If you allow them too, failure, loss and pain can fuel your passion and determination to be successful

2. Comparison 

Here’s one I struggle with, and I’m willing to bet that you do too. The social media age reveals one of the deepest flaws of human nature — that we are inclined to flaunt our strengths and desperately hide our weaknesses. The highlight reel portrayal of life has millions of people struggling to “measure up” to a someone else’s scripted view of life. Social comparison causes us to covet other’s lives rather than gleam from them. It’s no wonder it has strong links to depression.

The cure to comparison is to discover your identity. Psalms tell us that we were “Fearfully and wonderfully made.” God fashioned us uniquely, there’s no one quite like you! But I’ll be honest, it takes some work and intentionality to discover who you are and be true to yourself. Let’s make 2018 the year we discover who He’s created and embrace His life for us!

3. Negative Speech/Self-Talk

I was recently taking a drive with my wife and was in a lousy mood. I was grumbling about something that recently happened, and was being very negative.  After three or four comments, my wife (who is NEVER negative) chimed in! In that moment I realized that my negativity wasn’t just affecting me, but had spilled over on her!

Proverbs tells us that “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue.” That implies that we can literally create the atmosphere in which we live. I’ve seen entire families caught under a cloud of negativity,  because of their speech habits. If we aren’t aware we will regurgitate the lies the devil has spoken to them and verbally handcuff ourselves in life!

I’ve learned that it’s much easier to find a problem, than it is to find a solution. Many people are experts in criticizing & problem identification, but amateurs at solving the problems they discover.

No MORE! If this is you, one exercise that I have employed in the past, is to write down and meditate on one positive trait about yourself or your life a day for 30 days. Literally speak it out loud.  I promise your outlook on life will change. Instead of being a source of negativity, your life can be a source of encouragement for those around you!

4. Ungratefulness

I’ve heard it said that “contentment doesn’t mean I don’t want more; it means that I’m happy whether I get more or not.” Another problem with social comparison, is that we always compare ourselves to those who have more than us, instead of those who have less. This always leads to a lack of gratitude. Ungratefulness is a spiritual cancer, blocking your capacity receive from all the good things that are happening, have happened, or might happen!

As bad as it is trust me IT COULD ALWAYS be worse. You could be dead, broke, alone, homeless, or paralyzed.  There’s a precious woman in our church who is approaching complete blindness. But you’d never know it! She is the warmest, most grateful person I’ve ever met. She even texts (somehow) my wife and I weekly with encouraging messages.

It’s time to unplug, and learn to enjoy what you have around you before it’s too late. If you are Christian, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A REASON to be full of thanks and praise. Your eternity is set in Heaven.

If you having nothing else, you have a God who is more than happy to GIVE you what you need and has unlimited resources at his right hand. Begin to thank HIM today for mercy on your life, his grace, his patience and his wisdom and cultivate a heart full of gratitude.

5. Compromise

While a good tool in relationships, compromise has proven to be a killer when it comes to growth.  It spoils diets, exercise routines, spiritual growth, and morality. We each have an area or areas of compromise that are holding us back. As you’re reading this, you probably already thought of yours.

I’m learning that the corners I cut in life don’t just cost me, but also those that are depending on me. There are people now and in the future that need you, and your contribution to humanity. We need each other, we were designed that way! God wants to reveal and unlock your purpose on the earth. Let’s this be the year where we take big steps towards Him and away from the shores of mediocrity and compromise.

Get help! Find someone to be accountable and vulnerable with. I promise you that freedom in your areas of compromise may just be one conversation away.

 

So there you have it! I encourage you to pray through and write down where you may have exhibited these traits. Maybe your 5 are different than mine, the point is, it’s time to face these areas and put them behind us. I’m praying that everybody who reads this experiences a breakthrough from the areas that are holding them hostage!

Next week I’ll reveal the 5 things I’m picking up in 2018!

PJ